Blame Game

Blame comes out of the wound. The wound from which we have experienced pain and suffering with our caretakers in childhood, so there is a whole level of unexpressed anger frustration, and often comes out in relationship as seeing the other as the bad other. That person who does not love me properly, that does not see me, who does not get who I am. We were not able to experience that with our parents we needed to see them as good because they were our caretakers and we depended on them for everything. It is part of our survival and security to see our caretakers as good and see ourselves as wrong, the flipside of that is that we have this underground grievance and resentment. The projection of the bad other comes up so quickly when someone does not treat you right. We are projecting the bad other onto other people, and so in relationships that is translated into blaming my partner for how I don’t feel good. The tendency to look at the other as the problem. This is how Moses felt at the burning bush. But God comes into his life as God wants to do with ours to confirm our identity. Invite someone to take a closer look at Christ and his church.

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