We are taught in life to toughen up and not to show any emotion or how we really feel. The people who express this in my seminars are people who, as children, had been proud of being tough and not crying, of carrying out all their duties “gladly”, of not being afraid. Alice Miller says “that is at the bottom of not having an inner life at all.” They no longer have any feelings of their own, but to experience their parents or educators wishes as their own. The expression of sorrow and sadness at how we have been treated is a vital part of becoming who we are meant to be in Christ. Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane began to be sorrowful. It is not toughening up but letting life touch you. The bible says that there is a time to laugh and a time to cry. Invite someone to take a closer look at Christ and the church.