Combating the ugly sisters of Invitation

In churches, blaming and finger- pointing are often symptoms of shame. In the face of any negative outcome,large or small, someone or something must be found responsible (and held accountable). Brene Brown in her Book Daring Greatly says “There’s no notion of ‘water under the bridge. After all, if someone must be to blame and it’s not me, it must be you!” From blame comes shame. And then hurt, denial, anger, and retaliation.” It’s no wonder that church leader’s have the protection of their turtle shells Blame is simply the discharging of pain and discomfort. We blame when we’re uncomfortable and experience pain—When we’re vulnerable, angry, hurt, in shame, grieving. There’s nothing productive about blame, and it often involves shaming someone or just being mean. If blame is a pattern in your church, then shame needs to be addressed as an issue.  We need to find a way of recognizing shame and combating it. Here are three strategies for combating it Church Leaders who are introducing invitation need to be prayed for and supported. Secondly seeking out where shame might be functioning in a congregation. Thirdly recognizing that things will go ‘wrong’ and accepting it as part of the church